Week 10 EOC: Lawyer Jokes

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
A: Your Honor.

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50
A: Senator.

Q: What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?
A: The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.

Q: What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?
A: A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.

Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad.
A: Senator.

A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him.

She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out.

Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior. Shortly before landing in New York, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans, please raise your hand."

Not one hand went up . . . . so she took them home and ate them.

Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers.

"So," he said, "I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe."

Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. "You, attorney Leon, gave me $15,000. And you, attorney Campos, gave me $10,000."

The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out a check. He handed it to Leon. "Now then, I'm returning $5,000, and we're going to decide this case solely on its merits!"

The District Attorney was approaching the Suwanee River when he noticed a sign, "Caribbean Cruise--$99.00". He stopped and bought a ticket, whereupon the salesman hit him on the head, wrapped him in a rug and threw him in the river.
The Public Defender noticed the same sign. He too bought a ticket, got hit on the head, wrapped in a rug and tossed in the river.
The Public Defender awoke and called out to the State's Attorney, "Do they serve drinks on this cruise?"
The District Attorney replied, "They didn't last year!"

NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go and couldn’t return to Earth.
The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. “A million dollars,” he answered, “because I want to donate it to M.I.T.”
The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for $2 million. “I want to give a million to my family,” he explained, “and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research.”
The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer’s ear, “Three million dollars.”
“Why so much more than the others?” asked the interviewer.
The lawyer replied, “If you give me $3 million, I’ll give you $1 million, I’ll keep $1 million, and we’ll send the engineer to Mars.”

A lawyer was filling out a job application when he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" He answered, "No."
The next question, intended for applicants who had answered, "Yes," was "Why?" The lawyer answered it, "Never got caught."

A rabbi, a Hindu, and a lawyer are in a car. They run out of gas, and are forced to stop at a farmer's house. The farmer says that there are only 2 extra beds, and one person will have to sleep in the barn.
The Hindu says, "I'm humble, I'll sleep in the barn," so he goes out to the barn. In a few minutes, the farmer hears a knock on the door. It's the Hindu and he says, "There is a cow in the barn. It's against my beliefs to sleep with a cow."
So the rabbi says, "I'm humble, I'll sleep in the barn." A few minutes later, the farmer hears another knock on the door and it's the rabbi. He says that it is against his beliefs to sleep where there is a pig and there is a pig in the barn.
So the lawyer is forced to sleep in the barn. A few minutes later, there is a knock on the door. It's the pig and the cow.

A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck came along, too close to the curb, and completely tore off the driver's door of the Lexus. The counselor immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and it wasn't more than 5 minutes before a policeman pulled up.
Before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how the body shop tried to make it new again.
After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.
The cop replied, "Didn't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."
"My God!" screamed the lawyer, "Where is my Rolex?"

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?
A: The pronunciation.

Week 9 EOC: Wall Street Journal Opinion

There are several states that have “medical” marijuana legal but with the move of two states that now make it legal to possess small amounts for personal, i.e. recreational, use, there is a move by the President that could start a reform to the drug law. Controlled Substances Act of 1970 is what states the legality of drugs.  It states in the Congressional Findings and Declarations that “many of the drugs included within this subchapter have a useful and legitimate medical purpose and are necessary to maintain the health and general welfare of the American people.” (FDA) The line after that states that “the illegal importation, manufacture, distribution, and possession and improper use of controlled substances have a substantial and detrimental effect on the health and general welfare of the American people.” (FDA) This act declared marijuana dangerous and needed to be banned. Even if individual states make possessing marijuana for personal use legal but Federal Law still states that it is illegal, then Federal Law will trump the state law. They stated that they will intervene if “it discovers that marijuana is flowing to children or being trafficked to states where it is still illegal, though under federal law it is still illegal in all states.” (WSJ) If families decide to grow their own in those states that make it legal but then sell it to individuals or groups that live in a state where it is illegal, that is when the federal law will kick in; however, with the President deciding not to enforce the law, not just the small amount but even the large, for-profit growers.  If the President decides to not enforce the law and states make it illegal, the next question is what happens to drug policies in the workplace? Will companies that have a drug-free environment now have to change their policy?

Works Cited

FDA. (n.d.). Controlled Substances Act. Retrieved from http://www.fda.gov/regulatoryinformation/legislation/ucm148726.htm

WSJ. (n.d.). The Beltway Choom Gang. Retrieved from http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887323324904579044771286022400.html?mod=wsj_share_tweet

Week 8 EOC: Questions

Is secretly recording to prove harassment legal?

Infringes on copyright, what is my recourse?

In music, is it more important to copyright, trademark or register on ASCAP?

How would an artist go about keeping a contract?

I recorded some music while at the school; does it mean that the school owns the copyright?

At what point in starting a business and having staff, am I required to officially have them listed as an 

employee and start paying FICA and the like?

What are the legal requirements to having independent contractors as opposed to employees?

When do copyrights/trademarks become official and cover you in case of infringement?

What percent of a song would need to be modified in order for it to be no longer covered by the original copyright/registration?

What do copyright laws protect when it comes to “ideas” for audio for music?

Your Own Argument and Opinions

As someone who is already working within a start-up company, it is important for me to know the business laws that affect not only running the business but also as an employee at the business.  I need to know what applies and what doesn't.  I need to know who to reach out to and what to do when situations arise.  I need to be able to make sure that the owner is in compliance with the applicable health and safety regulations as well as labor laws and knowing what contracts consist of and whether they would be held up in court. Even if I don’t stay working for this company it will be of great benefit to me if I were to ever start my own company or even help someone else with a start-up. 

Even with some basic assistance from a lawyer, it is within my best interest to do my own due diligence and not solely rely on someone else to do the work.  Intellectual property is part of every company whether they know it or not and it is something worth fighting when someone infringes upon it.  It may take time and money but if you are serious and want to keep what rightfully belongs to you, you need to fight for it.

Rule of Law

With start-up companies, the process of finding and procuring funding as well as obtaining clients and keeping said clients can be difficult, but what can also be just as difficult is being able to pay employees while still keeping afloat.  According to the Department of Labor, the Fair Labor Standards Act of 1938 is what “establishes standards for minimum wages, overtime pay, record keeping, and child labor.” (Wage and Hour Division, 2009) The Department of Labor also states that it applies to businesses that "incur more than $500,000 in annual income"; however, it also states that “the Act covers domestic service workers, such as day workers, housekeepers, chauffeurs, cooks, or full‑time babysitters, if they receive at least $1,700 in 2009 in cash wages from one employer in a calendar year, or if they work a total of more than eight hours a week for one or more employers.” (Wage and Hour Division, 2009)

So those who are working for you now have to get paid, but do you pay them as an employee or an independent contractor? “The more control the principal has over an agent, the more likely that the agent will be considered an employee. Therefore, when determining if agents are employees or independent contractors, courts consider whether:

• The principal supervises details of the work.

• The principal supplies the tools and place of work.

• The agents work full time for the principal.

• The agents receive a salary or hourly wages, not a fixed price for the job.

• The work is part of the regular business of the principal.

• The principal and agents believe they have an employer-employee relationship.

• The principal is in business.” (Beatty & Samuelson, 2012)

Start-up companies don’t always start in a commercial space.  Sometimes they end up starting at the owner’s home.  Now when would the employer be responsible for incidents that happen in his/her home where the business is also located?  The employer would only be liable for "incidents that happen within the scope of employment."  For example, “If an employee leaves a pool of water on the floor of a store and a customer slips and falls, the employer is liable. But if the same employee leaves water on his own kitchen floor and a friend falls, the employer is not liable because the employee is not acting within the scope of employment.” (Beatty & Samuelson, 2012) So what does that mean? Scope of employment is a blanket term that covers any job.

Now you have a business but you want to protect the name and logo, anything that distinguishes your business from others.  Trademarks do just that. In short, a Trademark is a brand name.  You are not required to have it federally registered based on legitimate use of the mark but it does give you some definite advantages, “including the following:

·         Constructive notice to the public of the registrant's claim of ownership of the mark;

·         A legal presumption of the registrant's ownership of the mark and the registrant's exclusive right to use the mark nationwide on or in connection with the goods and/or services listed in the registration;

·         The ability to bring an action concerning the mark in Federal court;

·         The use of the U.S. registration as a basis to obtain registration in foreign countries; and

·         The ability to file the U.S. registration with U.S. Customs and Border Protection to prevent importation of infringing foreign goods.” (STOPfakes.gov)

To be able to use the Trademark markings, all you have to do is use TM after but if you have it registered federally you can use the ® symbol. This is all about keeping your intellectual property safe from others using it without your approval.  What happens if you end up with a case of Trademark infringement?  There are 2 steps, the first being fairly simple; you send out a cease and desist letter to the infringer.  The next step is only taken when your letter is ignored.  This step is much more complicated, and can in and of itself contain many steps.  The second step is to file a lawsuit. “Trademarks are a federal subject matter, and accordingly trademark infringement cases will often be filed in federal court. Most states also have trademark laws, however, so for local disputes you may be able to file your lawsuit in state court as well.” (FindLaw)

As a company, there will be customers/clients and when you sell them some form of product, you create a form of contract, but what exactly is a contract and what does it entail? There are multiple elements of a contract.  In general a contract is “a promise that the law will enforce.” (Beatty & Samuelson, 2012) For a contract to be able to be enforced by the law, it must contain seven traits, "offer, acceptance, consideration, legality, capacity, consent, and writing."  You may be thinking, a verbal agreement is often times considered a contract but there are times when it is required to be written in order for it to be enforceable. “Agreements concerning a sale of goods valued at more than $500 must be in writing.” (Beatty & Samuelson, 2012)

When working for any company, what you do when you are off reflects not only yourself but also the company you work for.  “More than half of the states have passed statutes prohibiting job bans on smokers. Indeed, some states have passed laws that protect the right of employees to engage in any lawful activity when off duty, including smoking, drinking socially, having high cholesterol, being overweight, or engaging in dangerous hobbies—bungee jumping or rollerblading, for instance. In the absence of such a statute, however, an employer does have the right to fire an employee for off-duty conduct.” (Beatty & Samuelson, 2012) So if you are engaging in acts that start promoting a bad image for your employer, they have the right to terminate your employment.

Now you are working for a company, and you have been asked to do some sort of cleaning.  The chemicals that you use for cleaning are most likely hazardous in some way and that means the company needs to have it posted. The Occupational Safety & Health Administration, OSHA, came out with what is called the hazard communication standard, which “is designed to ensure that employers and employees know about hazardous chemicals in the workplace and how to protect themselves.  Employers with employees who may be exposed to hazardous chemicals in the workplace must prepare and implement a written Hazard Communication Program and comply with other requirements of the standard.” (OSHA)

These laws are all available but knowing the difference between the types can help in figuring it all out.  The first source is from the Constitution and the other is statutory law.  A statute is “a law passed by Congress or by a state legislature” (Beatty & Samuelson, 2012) and can cover pretty much any topic; however, they can not violate the Constitution. 

Now we know the source and the type but do they affect how we deal with issue that may require some form of dispute resolution?  There are three different ways to deal with this, “Litigation: the process of resolving disputes in court.

Alternative dispute resolution: resolving disputes out of court, through formal or informal processes.

Mediation: a form of ADR in which a neutral third party guides the disputing parties toward a voluntary settlement.” (Beatty & Samuelson, 2012)

Works Cited

(n.d.). Retrieved from STOPfakes.gov: http://www.stopfakes.gov/learn-about-ip/trademarks/how-do-i-register

(n.d.). Retrieved from OSHA: https://www.osha.gov/dcsp/compliance_assistance/quickstarts/general_industry/gi_step1.html

(n.d.). Retrieved from FindLaw: http://smallbusiness.findlaw.com/intellectual-property/protect-your-trademark-from-infringement.html

Beatty, J. F., & Samuelson, S. S. (2012). Introduction to Business Law. South-Western College Pub.

Wage and Hour Division. (2009, July). Retrieved from Department of Labor: http://www.dol.gov/whd/regs/compliance/whdfs14.htm

Reasoning of the Law

Ryan Kastellic was able to provide some answers that weren’t all in lawyer jargon but in language that would be easily understood by anyone. One thing I did notice when he was answering the questions I was asking was that he was pretty vague, like as if he was afraid to share too much information to the point where he thought he was doing my homework for me.  Well that was almost the point of the project, but that only created intrigue and the need to dig a bit deeper myself.  He started the answers and then I had to finish them.  Though in the process of the questioning, I did change the focus from intellectual property to employment and more general business laws since I currently am an executive assistant to a professional chef.

The Questions

The questions that I chose are of personal interest to me.  Some of them have to do with intellectual property and how that would affect the music/audio that I help produce, but some of them have to do with running a business and can affect me in my current position as an executive assistant to a professional chef who has his own startup company.  The questions that I came up with aren’t necessarily the ones that I actually ended up asking.  As the conversation progressed, some of the questions ended up getting modified or ignored completely. So here is the list of questions that I originally wanted to ask.

Does my work have to be published to be protected?

The name of my company was approved when I incorporated - Doesn't that mean I am free to use that name as a trademark?

Can I fight a trademark infringement?

What is the difference between a patent attorney and a patent agent?

What is fair use?

Is secretly recording to prove harassment legal?

Infringes on copyright, what is my recourse?

In music, is it more important to copyright, trademark or register on ASCAP?

How would an artist go about keeping a contract?

I recorded some music while at the school; does it mean that the school owns the copyright?

At what point in starting a business and having staff, am I required to officially have them listed as an employee and start paying FICA and the like?

What are the legal requirements to having independent contractors as opposed to employees?

When do copyrights/trademarks become official and cover you in case of infringement?

What percent of a song would need to be modified in order for it to be no longer covered by the original copyright/registration?

What do copyright laws protect when it comes to “ideas” for audio for music?